2.22.2011

“i am standing upon the seashore.  a ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.  she is an object of beauty and strength.  i stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

then someone at my side says:  “there, she is gone!”

“gone where?”

gone from my sight.  that is all.  she is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

her diminished size is in me, not in her.  and just at the moment when someone at my side says: “there, she is gone!”  there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: “here she comes!”

on february 22, 2011, my birthday, 9:45pm est, my dad called me to tell me that my grandmother had passed away.  it was expected but i still wasn't prepared to hear this.  below are pictures that, while they may not be pictures one would expect...are pictures that, to me, embody the cheerful, silly spirit that was my second mom - my grandmother....georgia thelma reneau long.  

the passage above gives me comfort.  she literally died of old age.  she was 99.  she was beautiful and graceful until the end.  it gives me comfort to know that there were others on the other side...cheerleaders, if you will, ushering her through the pearly gates.  

my mom said that, in those last few days especially, they were able to "see" that she had "connected" to the otherside.  mama and aunt ellen and even emily were able to witness her connection.  grandmother had a day, about 5 days before she passed, where she waved her arms and seemed to be talking to someone.  they thought she said "daddy" at one time.  they don't really know what was going on but the best part to me was that mama said that she asked grandmother, "mama, are you happy?"  and the biggest grin came across grandmother's face and she shook her head, yes.  maybe i shouldn't be divulging these things, but they are special and i don't want to forget these things and years from now, when i'm old and gray i want to remember this and, hey, that's what this blog is for anyways....a kind of diary to myself...for the super important things like this and for the funny (albiet much less important) things (like the fact that cashel saw a billboard today of a a black man and called him michael jordan....again).  that would have made her smile...

grandmother...you are always with me.  i love you.