i've been thinking lately that jason and i are in the sweet spot with cashel. he's still little, but as we are approaching his fifth birthday i am very aware that he's really not little anymore. he's completely aware that his stuffed animals don't really talk and that if i pretend to take a bite out of him that he does not, in fact, really taste like chocolate. i really miss being able to trick him. i can't just put my hands over my face to hide during hide and seek. he doesn't really care to play hide and seek anymore - a day i thought would never come. as tired of that game as i got i knew that i needed to enjoy it because it wouldn't last forever. here we are. sigh.
i do take joy in other things now though. he's more independent. he still wants me to carry him sometimes, which i do, sometimes, because i know for certain that i won't be able to do it this time next year. however, he walks most of the time now. he's ventured a bit more into independent play with his toys. i sometimes find him in his own world with his transformers or some other random smash up of toys - using funny voices for each. he's grown so much i can't stand it!
so we're in the sweet spot. the spot where he still wants to cuddle with me and touch my freckle, but he'll often play by himself which relieves me with less guilt to clean the kitchen. once he turns five i officially have a school aged kid (although he won't start kindergarten for another year). i won't have a baby or a toddler but a school aged kid. the journey this far has been amazing. they say not to blink and they're right. damn it. but at the same time i'm super excited to see him play soccer this fall and learn to read on his own and to continue to work on his comedy which just gets richer and richer with each passing day.
so for now we'll enjoy the sweet spot. i'll enjoy making him laugh by making faces, set up blocks just for him to knock down, race him to his room at school, get him to eat by saying "did you see that bird over there" while i have food on my fork for him to eat and pretend not to, set up vinegar and baking soda and colored water and old spices so he can do "science," trick him into watering my flowers by letting him play with the water hose, have him jump to me in the pool, read books and books and books, watch him write his "s's" and "j's" backwards, explain how santa gets into houses without chimney's, convince him that there is no coca-cola in california, have him strip down to his underwear the moment he walks in the door, have him call out "mama!" in the middle of the night for me to come cuddle with him, attempt to answer all of his questions about life and death and "why god made it that some trashcans have a lid and others don't", listening to him call out every ford, toyota and honda he sees on the road, listening to him call me robin and his dad jason, watch him and jason wrestle in their underwear, hear him explain all he knows about the hulk and spiderman and batman and thor and dr. doom and the rest of the avengers, helping him negotiate four year old politics by telling him that sharing is caring, having ask me if my students get yellow notes when they get in trouble or to tell them, if they're talking, to zip it lock it put it in their pocket, hear him explain that kaitlyn is his girlfriend even though she's at another school and the leighton is also his girlfriend and she just got back from vegas and that max is his boyfriend, watching him play zombie in a bouncy house.
sigh :-)
