as a result of a horrible night (last night) of trying to get him down - with the help of one grand dad and one uncle - i have resigned myself to the fact that i have to, at least try, to let him cry it out. i am philosophically opposed to this for myself - i don't care what others do - but i never wanted to have to do this. i truly believe his cries are not manipulation but he is trying to communicate with me. what he says is this:
cashel: yo, mom, i need help getting to sleep and i'm hungry in the middle of the night and i love sleeping with you and pops
i want to help him get to sleep - i enjoy helping him get to sleep (most of the time) - i love that he needs me....but....he'll never learn to self soothe if i don't force him to. this sucks. writing this helps keep me occupied as i hear him screaming.
the rule is to go in after 5 minutes...but don't touch him...tell him it's ok to go to sleep. he just needs to know i'm close. then go in again after 10 minutes, then 15 and so on until 1 hour - wait...that can't be right....i didn't buy the book i got this from...i just sat and read it in barnes & noble today...maybe i stop at 15 minute increments...yes...regardless, that's what i'll do.
he's a pitiful sight. he has red, blood shot eyes, tears streaming down his face, drool, his onesie is soaked and if he could talk he would surely not have a voice tomorrow. it breaks my heart but part of me can't help but laugh at him....go to sleep dude...i promise....there's no party going on here that you're missing out on.
even more fun will be when this happens in the middle of the night. i have to wean him from the bottle. this kid - this 20 pound kid still wants a bottle in the middle of the night - my fault - I know. so, tonight he gets 5 ounces at 1am, tomorrow he gets 4 and so on until he's weaned. i hope this is as easy as it sounds because right now, he's still screaming.
oh...and if he wakes around 4am like usual, i know he's not hungry which means i get to do the whole 5 minute, 10 minute, 15 minute thing again - AT 4 AM! this will be no fun for anyone in the house. hopefully it's as they say - the first day is the toughest then it gets easier from there - and hopefully within a week.....
...to be continued...
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